No God, Know Peace

loup
30 November 2018

I do not believe in god – any god. It is simple; I know that HOPE is a powerful motivator and so did powerful and corrupt people throughout history. They had power and wanted to keep or even get more. They gave the poor hope, dangled a better life after death. Keeping them working themselves into that promised release to the next world. Pushing them to ignore that the life they were living could change with the truth.

There are more GODS that people have worshipped throughout time, and they believed that their Gods were the right ones to follow,  before language people worshipped the Sun and Moon. There have been mono-theistic religions, polytheistic religions, and everything in between.

And to be clear, I have no problem with people who find the ignorance comforting. I don’t care how you get through the day. However, when your choice to stay blind, ignorant and let the men that speak for your make-believe friend make up rules that you will push others to fuck up their lives. To impose your beliefs on others is wrong. You only know and can know what works for you. You have no right to assume what others need to give them HOPE.

There is no excuse for ignorance. Don’t let your hope in something better after death to keep you from making things better in life.

Ironic how religions tell us that the way we are born is a “lifestyle choice” – but when the only ones making a CHOICE are the faithful blind followers.

Embracing the Suck

loup
27 November 2018

Last week a woman I know said that there are people who have it worse than she does so she had no right to complain. She shouldn’t be upset – she should get over it. That triggered something in me; throughout my life, I’ve heard similar things.

“There are millions of people who would love to have your life. What are you upset about?” 

Why should I be depressed? Why should I be angry?

I am depressed about the lack of chemical balance in my brain. I am angry because even though so much has gone right for me throughout my life – I have pushed the memories and emotions that come with what all has gone wrong down to the darkest corners of my soul.

I have put on a smile and not really acknowledged the pain in my life; suppressing it so far down that when it bubbles up it consumes me.  Putting on a happy face and ignoring the pain and emotions that I have has brought me to this point in my life. A point where I have to struggle to find the joy and good things that are in front of me because I am weighed down by it all. The Oscar goes to – but recently I have become a shitty actor; I have decided to give up my poker face and false smiles

I have, just like everyone else on this rock, every right to own my emotions; to see them through. We all need to express them and find our way through them. Learn from the anger, hold the pain close to us until it no longer serves a purpose. Many people struggle with these emotions; others have told them to suck it up and stop feeling whatever way. There is nothing to gain from suppressing things. We have to own them, work them out and take from them what they have to teach us and then let them go.

We cannot change the past, it is cliché, but it is true.

In other words – EMBRACE THE SUCK, make it useful then let it the fuck go.

thoughts

loup
31 October 2018

Firewalk your past. Navigate the pain, use it. You can’t change it, but you are not doomed to repeat it.

Modify

loup
14 October 2018

There is no user manual for life. No guidelines or rules about how you are supposed to feel when the life you thought you would have is over. When illness takes your dreams, and you end up sitting and crying and working through all of what might have been. We understand how to grieve for a lost loved one. But, when you find out you have a chronic illness – that will most likely in your lifetime not have a cure – your life sort of pauses on itself.

Some of your dreams will fade, wither and die. When you have had a life of pain and discomfort, you can’t sleep, you hurt everywhere – it is hard to describe the joy you have when you finally get a diagnosis. You know there is something to it all. Then it sets in – while you are happy that you know what it all is, the joy fades, and you find despair and grieving for the things that haven’t come. The things that you think you will have time for, the things that you want to do, places on the bucket list. They are gone.

It takes some time, but there is a bit of hope. You do not have to give up on all of the dreams and adventures. MODIFY, modifications to our lives is a great way to make the best of a shitty situation. There are so many tools and ideas to help us navigate our illness.

First, you have to learn – and this one is HARD — you have to learn SELF-CARE and SELF-LOVE.

I could dazzle you with positive hyperbole and tell you things like if you would be happy if you only believed.

Fuck that – grieve, rage against the world — get it out of your system. Then move on. You have shit to do.

There will be days when you can’t face it, and getting out of bed will take every ounce of energy you have. But, there will also be days when the sunshine breaks through the clouds, and you find joy in what is in front of you. It could be anything that makes you smile. The point is MODIFY. Maybe you won’t hike through the wilderness and spot a glimpse of nature at its most wild. Hell, even finding the strength to walk around the store for groceries can seem impossible. That is why we modify to fit our needs whenever possible.

Acknowledging that we can be suckers, we need relief from the pain, sometimes at any cost. We want to hang onto the hope that someday someone will find the one thing that takes it away. The magic pill. We gobble up self-help books on how to cope with pain and how to survive with our illness. Searching for the answer to why we are suffering. Everything happens for a reason; we wouldn’t have been given more than we can handle and so on.

There is no one size fits all when it comes to modifying for our illness – these are just some of the things I have tried that have worked for me. One day I may post about what didn’t work for me – but probably not. I don’t want to discourage others to find what works for them.

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Accessibility

We live in a very tech-obsessed world right now. We know that tech can provide amusement, information, and connections to others. What you may not know is that technology currently offers so many options for people who want and need assistance with everyday issues.
Some of these currently available devices can help you with reminders, timers, entertainment, accessibility to devices throughout your home. With the “Internet of Things” growing exponentially you are almost guaranteed to find something that works for you. You have hubs and assistants. These things are amazing. You can operate a lot of smart home devices with your voice or a few taps on your smart devices. Phones, tv remotes, watches, ovens, faucets, and the list goes on. While you may not need or even want to engage with your stove or refrigerator the point is that you CAN. Simple tasks like setting a timer or reminder, check the weather, listen to music or audiobooks and so on. My Amazon Echo is even set up with several IOT devices that I have in my house. I can ask the Echo to turn on lights, open window shades, also get a single cup of water from the new Delta Faucet.

The primary three are AppleGoogle StoreAmazon

Here are the links their Accessibility pages: Google AccessibilityApple Accessibility
Amazon Accessibility

Delivery Services

Amazon Prime – I have been a Prime member for ten years. Free shipping, streaming movies and tv – DASH, Subscribe & Save and so many other perks make the annual membership fee worth it.

Amazon Prime Now – When you discover you are out of cat litter, or you have run out of toilet paper, Amazon Prime Now can deliver it straight to your door in as little as an hour.

When you don’t feel up to going out, but you are craving that dish from your favorite restaurant, their food delivery is a great option. And you are not limited to your usual delivery foods like pizza and such. This type of service brings “take away” to you. Some of these services go beyond restaurants and of course YMMV based on your location. Worth checking out tho. Besides PRIME NOW some of the other services I use are InstacartDoordashPostmatesGrubHub Many local grocery stores have started to offer delivery and even curbside pick-up. You place your order online or through an app, the staff at the stores do the shopping for you. Compile your cart and deliver it to your door or you can pick it up curbside. They will even load it into your car for you.

Getting your medications have become simple as well. Some local pharmacies have delivery services. Check your pharmacy for an autofill option to go along with delivery. Running out of medications should not be a worry we have. There are also mail order pharmacies.

Entertainment

Audible – It can be pricey, but if your local library doesn’t have the option to get audiobooks online, this can be an excellent modification for readers. I gave up reading “books” a few years back. Just holding up a 300-page book was exhausting. I got an e-reader, and that was doing well for me – unless the brain fog was terrible. I found myself reading the same paragraph over and over and not retaining it. Enter audiobooks.

Just be sure to check if your local library has an available digital catalog first. One place to check is OverDrive.

Services like NetflixHuluAmazon PrimeGoogle PlayYouTube

Disclaimer – I may receive commissions when you click some links and make purchases. It bears no additional costs to you, and this will not impact my suggestions. I would never link to a service or item that I didn’t use myself.

 

Computer Blue

loup
16 July 2018

I envy computers. You can delete a file completely. There is nothing left of the file so when you try to retrieve it – nothing – it does not exist. You won’t accidentally stumble upon the file, and thus ruining your day.

 

I wish I could cut memories out of my brain like a computer file. Just gone, nothing, zip, zilch, nada.