I am very lucky that I have found something that helps me with Fibromyalgia. It helps a little too well because about a week before the next treatment my energy starts to wane and the aches come back. My issues with dizziness, vision, headaches, brain fog … you get the pictures… start popping back up. The trouble is that for the first few days after their return I think I am dying – I have forgotten that these things were my normal.
Friday I go in for another Lidocaine Infusion. As I said I am very fortunate that I have something that helps – there are so many that haven’t found anything that helps them.
But – having your illness masked and the daily issues diminished so much that they are but mere background noise has drawbacks. My self-care goes down the drain once the treatment kicks in. I forget that I am sick. I am not sure if it just happens because the pain is reduced or if in some part of my being I want to believe that I am healthy.
I had appointments today and fun stuff planned and I just can’t face it — it sucks. This morning I am making a promise to myself to be better at self-care. I don’t ever want to give up trying new things or pushing myself to move. However, I need to reign my enthusiasm in a bit, because I am just hurting myself by over-doing and not listening to my own cues to slow down and take care.