My Heart

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It has been nearly 9 years since I had to say good-bye, but not a day goes by that I don’t wish you were still here with me. Thank you for finding me and for choosing me to be your very own Human. I will never be able to put into words what you did for me and how the memories of you carry me through. I miss you, Korkabork. I always will.

Pain in the …

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what doesn't kill you

I want to tell you that living with chronic illness my entire life has given me a grand insight into life and suffering. It hasn’t. I am not a guru; I can’t make my pain go away through positive thoughts. I can’t rely on modern medicine to always come through for me. Some medications don’t work for me; some cause… Read more »

10 Things on My Illnesses

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Here are some random bits about my experience with chronic invisible illnesses. 1. I am living with fibromyalgia and complex PTSD. I was finally diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2005. The diagnosis of complex-PTSD came in 2018. 2. I’ve had symptoms since childhood; the fibro-flare that really sent me looking for answers came in 2002. 3. The biggest adjustment I’ve had… Read more »

Silence is Deafening

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be the person

I can certainly understand the fear of speaking out that comes with traumatic events at the hands of people who seem to have some “control” in your life. We all have happened to us, to our loved ones, and we continue to sit on these secrets. Sometimes, we spend so much energy trying to be safe and quiet, and the… Read more »

Thoughts

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Therapy and dealing with your past and making your mental health a priority is so much harder than pushing it down deep and trying to block it out. It is like having a full-time job where all you do is try to NOT think about it. “It’s in the past, you can’t change it, you can’t fix it.” It’s nonsense…. Read more »

22 Years & Counting

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I met Michael on the Internet. That should tell you where I spent a lot of my free time. I was working on websites, and all of the code was beginning to blur. I had installed the most recent ICQ version earlier that day, so I decided to take a break from the HTML and check out some of the… Read more »

Road Trip?

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When I have the energy, I love to get in the car and take a country drive. When I was younger, we would pack up a picnic and drive to a lake or just wander around. Daddy was in the US Army, so moving around so frequently, we saw a lot of different places. Most of these trips were just… Read more »

time is fleeting

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the powder blankets the hillside the full moon casts a glitterling light over each snowflake through the night a single wolf pierces the silence sending an eerie call out to his lost pack a mournful, lonely cry his shadow rises above the countryside and then quietly disappears leaving only his tracks in the snow and the memory of his sad… Read more »

THEN

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change

We need to take an in-depth look at our past. It never was the “good old days,” we just want to have that freedom and joy that we encountered when we were younger, and life seemed more manageable. The 1950s has been recast in the popular imagination as a bland, balmy era of simplicity and innocence—of sock hops and going… Read more »

NOW

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Life is Short But Wide

If nothing else, 2020 is showing us that life is short and only getting shorter, and there is no time like the present. When I look back on my past and think how much time I wasted on nothing, how much time has been lost in futilities, errors, laziness, incapacity to live; how little I appreciated it, how many times… Read more »