I have the strangest dreams. I don’t try to over analyze them. Hell, I don’t even try to analyze them. Some times they make me sad and some times they make me smile. Last night I had a dream that did both. I am a fangrrl when it comes to Hugh Laurie. I will watch the biggest bit of crap… Read more »
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose, All that we love deeply becomes a part of us. Helen Keller Yesterday would have been my mother’s 62nd birthday. She last held me over 7 years ago. The pain doesn’t go away. You learn to cope and make it through the days but it is always there. Almost looming. I… Read more »
As most of you know I have long since been a believer in “YOU CAN PICK YOUR FAMILY”. I spend a great deal of time and energy listening to the bullshit and babblings of the crazy white trash that happens to share my family tree. Well no more. I am kicking those crazy fuckers out of the tree. They can… Read more »
It is a little after 9 p.m. as I sit here … the hum of the fish tank, the light of the moon, the repetition of the dog breathing at my feet comfort me … I miss my best friend. Sometimes I wake up and look, only to find an empty pillow, forgetting he isn’t here … I mark the… Read more »
It is raining in Carlsbad night now … I can almost smell it. I miss that open sky where you can watch the storm roll in for hours before it gets there. I hated the reason WHY I had to be back in the desert- but I didn’t hate the desert. Sometimes I miss it. But then again I am… Read more »
My dad was not my father. It didn’t matter to him or to me that we were not bound by genetics. He did all of the things that the man I thought was my biological father couldn’t or wouldn’t. All of my life I had questions about my father. There was a man that everyone told me was my father,… Read more »
My mom died 5 February 2002. Time has passed and some wounds have healed, some have just gone numb. Getting on with life has gotten a little easier, but last night for the first time in a long time I really missed her. I missed her so much I couldn’t sleep. My mom and I had this weird relationship. When… Read more »
If I ever write a book about my family I am going to call it “Two Tanks of Gas and a Handful of Xanax” – because that is what you need to get through a weekend with them. It isn’t that I despise the whole family thing – just a few of them. They seem to make the visits stressful… Read more »
A friend of mine called today. Her grandfather was told he has lung cancer, they have basically sent him home to die. She is heading out in a few days to see him. It is going to be hard on her I am sure. Just talking to her brings back a rush of memories. Some of them good, some of… Read more »
This year has been pure hell on me and my husband. It all started last Autumn. In November my parents moved to Carlsbad, New Mexico. For them it was a dream come true. For me it was filled with worry and heart-ache. I missed my mother so much. I cried every night for nearly a month after she moved out… Read more »