Author Archives: loup

3 March 1999

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Twenty-one years ago today, I had a miscarriage. We found out I was pregnant three weeks after our wedding. I was on birth control pills, but that didn’t work. We were newly married, he was getting ready to leave for his first 6-month deployment on the submarine. I lived 7 hours from my parents, and I was alone in a… Read more »

Quotable

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There is this path we all think about walking down towards our future. There is this path that we already walked on. That’s all I can think about, this path, this road that is one perfect straight line even if it goes around the world through heat and fog and rain and snow and it’s my life. I keep thinking…. Read more »

Quotable

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live with intention walk to the edge listen hard practice wellness play with abandon laugh choose with no regret continue to learn appreciate your friends do what you love live as if this is all there is – Mary Anne Radmacher

Framily

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I am lucky that growing up my Mamma taught me that DNA does not make you family. Just because you are related, it doesn’t mean that you have to subject yourself to toxic behavior. She didn’t take her advice. I believe that since she felt such a struggle with her “family,” that she made sure I learned from her mistakes…. Read more »

Less is More

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Rome is burning, but the truth is, I’ve never really cared about Rome. The status quo of western civilizations. Colonization, the theft of history, and the denial of fundamental human rights. I know and accept that we can’t all live in harmony because humans are not a harmonious lot. We rape, pillage, and take more than we need. Waste what… Read more »

Chronic Illogical

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chronic illogical

First of all, welcome. Second, since you’re going to ask, “Why Chronic Illogical?” Chronic Illogical because there is NOTHING logical about chronic illness. Over the years, I’ve claimed that I don’t care what people think, and for the most part, that is true. But, the terror I felt when the prospect of sharing anything about life inside my body and… Read more »

New Beginnings

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I turned 47 a few days ago. After 18 months of intense therapy and struggle to find my lost self, I am discovering the person that I knew when I was younger. Fearless, determined, and confident. I don’t know where I lost her along the way, but I am glad she is back. In 2004, after a lifetime of physical… Read more »