Guilt

loup
20 June 2002

There is a special place for people who fight cancer. I can’t think of another disease that kills the body and the spirit. Not just of the patient but their loved ones. It eats away at us all. I am feeling so guilty that Daddy had to go back into the hospital. I am afraid I won’t be able to give him the end at home that he wanted. I am exhausted and sleeping through the every hour dosing and that puts him in more pain. I am alone out here in the desert. Hospice has been amazing but so much of it is on me. I don’t want to let him down but I can’t let him suffer either.

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