I have been thinking a lot about where my life would be and what it would be like. I would be doing research on a car for my soon to be 16 year old son. It is strange because I consider myself to be childfree and I always have, except for that blip in time. That moment when I felt movement and realized planned or not I was going to be a mother. Then just as I got used to the idea it was taken away – like some sort of cruel game of gotcha.
My dreams and my hopes for him, for us. Gone. Guilt for not wanting to be pregnant, sorrow for all of the what ifs to come.
This is the only picture I have of him.
Kalehn Nikolas Kidd
03 March 1999