It puts the lotion on the skin ….


I love a good lotion. Coconut oil, rose hips … it can make a bad day a little better. I wish it was the solution to all things. The last few days have been hard. Allergens in the air, crazy barometric pressure swings, past due for my lidocaine infusion. I am grateful that my husband is so patient. But, still, there are days when I plan to get things done and they don’t happen. I feel guilty. I am harder on myself than anyone else. Even after fighting chronic invisible illnesses for the better part of my life, I still have to keep telling myself that this is a day to day kind of forever and you have to take the suck with the wonderous.

So I will find a comfortable place, rub some EOS lotion into my hands and then sip some Numi tea. I will embrace the pain – because the pain is telling me that I am alive and if I am alive I still have some fight left in me.


This morning I found a wounded mouse in the trap set by the water lines running into the RV. I didn’t think it right for it to suffer, so I killed it. I said I was sorry as I cried – I hate having to do any think like that. Later I made breakfast for us — I was sitting there telling Michael about what had happened earlier – crying again as I chewed my bacon. I am a hypocrite.


1 March 2014 marked the 3 year anniversary since I had my RNY gastric bypass surgery. Since then I have lost just over 200 pounds. My labs are all great and I am healthier than I have been in a long time. Even though I still deal with chronic pain as well as Fibromyalgia I am healthy and doing well.

I am really open about it because it is my hope that if more people are open then the ignorance and cruelty will some how go away or at least lessen. I am not asking anyone to be proud of me, I wouldn’t even if I lost weight without the tool of surgery. But telling people that surgery is the easy way out is beyond cruel and ignorant — it is just stupidity.

Someone once said to me “If you had any will power you wouldn’t be fat.” If that were really the case and I have no control .. explain to me how I and many other people who have had surgery control their diet so rigidly avoiding so many pitfalls every day. Take their vitamins and supplements every day like clockwork — and all of this without self control?!?

Weight loss surgery is NOT the easy way out. It is scary, it is not a free pass, it is not without risk. Would I do it again? Yes. Should you educate yourself before you make shitty comments .. absolutely.


The circus is in town – the ads are every where showing blissfully ignorant families smiling at the elephants doing their tricks. You should know that those animals are abused and tormented until their spirit is broken and their “acts” are not fun for them. It is not natural behavior – when was the last time you saw a dancing elephant in Africa or a lion jump through a ring of fire for shits and giggles?

Not everyone knows how they get these beautiful animals to perform these feats but if you know and you still go and give your money or you refuse to learn the truth so it doesn’t spoil your family fun … you are what is wrong with this world. Inaction equals evil.

So when you ask me “What am I supposed to do, stop going to the circus with my family?” Yes, that is exactly what you should do. Letting the circus know that you won’t be attending because of their treatment to animals is another step. If you LOVE th circus atmosphere may I suggest attending an animal free circus.

Ringling Beats Animals

Circus Cruelty

11 Facts About Circus Abuse

If you LOVE elephants check out places like The Elephant Sanctuary, Riddle’s Elephant Sanctuary, Performing Animals Welfare Society.

Elephants aren’t the only animals in the circus that suffer. Please learn more – the internet is at your fingertips.