It puts the lotion on the skin ….

Moisturizing

I love a good lotion. Coconut oil, rose hips … it can make a bad day a little better. I wish it was the solution to all things. The last few days have been hard. Allergens in the air, crazy barometric pressure swings, past due for my lidocaine infusion. I am grateful that my husband is so patient. But, still, there are days when I plan to get things done and they don’t happen. I feel guilty. I am harder on myself than anyone else. Even after fighting chronic invisible illnesses for the better part of my life, I still have to keep telling myself that this is a day to day kind of forever and you have to take the suck with the wonderous.

So I will find a comfortable place, rub some EOS lotion into my hands and then sip some Numi tea. I will embrace the pain – because the pain is telling me that I am alive and if I am alive I still have some fight left in me.

Hypocrite

This morning I found a wounded mouse in the trap set by the water lines running into the RV. I didn’t think it right for it to suffer, so I killed it. I said I was sorry as I cried – I hate having to do any think like that. Later I made breakfast for us — I was sitting there telling Michael about what had happened earlier – crying again as I chewed my bacon. I am a hypocrite.

Surgerversary

1 March 2014 marked the 3 year anniversary since I had my RNY gastric bypass surgery. Since then I have lost just over 200 pounds. My labs are all great and I am healthier than I have been in a long time. Even though I still deal with chronic pain as well as Fibromyalgia I am healthy and doing well.

I am really open about it because it is my hope that if more people are open then the ignorance and cruelty will some how go away or at least lessen. I am not asking anyone to be proud of me, I wouldn’t even if I lost weight without the tool of surgery. But telling people that surgery is the easy way out is beyond cruel and ignorant — it is just stupidity.

Someone once said to me “If you had any will power you wouldn’t be fat.” If that were really the case and I have no control .. explain to me how I and many other people who have had surgery control their diet so rigidly avoiding so many pitfalls every day. Take their vitamins and supplements every day like clockwork — and all of this without self control?!?

Weight loss surgery is NOT the easy way out. It is scary, it is not a free pass, it is not without risk. Would I do it again? Yes. Should you educate yourself before you make shitty comments .. absolutely.